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Newly Re-Elected Senator Says Peaches Are His Love Language, Hands Out 400 Of Them On Capitol Steps
WASHINGTON, D.C. As both parties spent the week sorting through a historic shake-up in Congress, Sen. Clay Pettibone (I-Peach) made clear Monday that his own priorities had not changed, telling reporters that he intends to meet the moment “one peach at a time.”
“Some people say it with flowers. Some people say it with a strongly worded letter,” said Pettibone, 61, holding a peach in each hand and a third, partially eaten, under his chin. “I say it with stone fruit. Peaches are my love language, and the American people have heard me loud and clear.”
Staffers confirmed the senator has eaten an estimated 38 peaches a day since 2009, a habit that has reportedly reshaped his office, his committee assignments and, according to one aide, “the entire smell of the third floor.”
Pettibone spent much of the afternoon on the Capitol steps handing a fresh peach to every colleague who walked past, regardless of party. Several accepted. One returned his with a note reading “we need to talk about boundaries.” Pettibone framed the note.
“When I hand you a peach, I am telling you that I see you,” he explained, gently pressing a peach into the hands of a visibly confused intern. “When I hand you a second peach, I am telling you that you are now on my peach list. There is no getting off the peach list.”
Asked what the new Congress would mean for his legislative agenda, Pettibone said his top priority remains the Peaceful Peach Act, a bill that would designate the peach as the official fruit of bipartisanship and require a bowl of them in every committee room.
“You can’t stay mad at someone who just gave you a peach,” he said. “I have tested this extensively. On my wife, on my staff and, regrettably, on the Senate parliamentarian.”
At press time, Pettibone had been spotted outside the Senate cafeteria lobbying for a peach cobbler amendment, which he described as “the compromise this country deserves.”