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Leonardo Tops €60 Billion In Orders As Defence, Drones And Space Grow

Real headline via Euronews

Renaissance Man Leonardo Tops €60 Billion In Orders, Has Not Finished Any Of Them

Illustration. FAQS News does not have photographers, only optimism.

FLORENCE, ITALY. The workshop of Leonardo da Vinci announced Thursday that it has surpassed €60 billion in orders, a milestone the 574-year-old polymath celebrated by starting 30 new projects and abandoning 29 of them before lunch.

“Defence, drones and space are all growing for us,” said studio manager Paolo Bertinelli, gesturing at a pile of notebooks written backward. “He drew a helicopter in 1490. We are just waiting for him to tell us which way the blades go.”

Clients expressed cautious optimism. One collector who commissioned a portrait in 1503 said he was told it would be ready “after the smile is right,” and that he has learned to respect the process.

Analysts noted that while revenue remains strong, delivery rates have held steady at roughly one completed item every 15 years.

The real story

“Leonardo tops €60 billion in orders as defence, drones and space grow”
Read it at Euronews. Everything above this box is satire.